Trusting the Process

Hi. It's been an interesting week with lots of issues coming up around friendships, video, music, love and trusting the process.

I'm trying to get that it's ok to be naturally attracted to certain kinds of friends, and not to others. I don't need to feel bad that I can't physically or emotional be connected or reach out to everyone. I can only do my best, which means taking care of myself, loving open-heartedly with the people I feel most connected to and not feel guilty about the rest.

All I can do is love, forgive, be compassionate of my own self first, then others and just let go of all my ridiculous expectations of thinking I know what purpose we each have in one another's lives. We never know what is meant to be for us or others. But it all has some higher purpose, I know that.

And, I make mistakes and so does everyone else. I am learning how to be human every day and I don't have to prove anything. I just am. It's ok to let go and just be present. Everything will be as it needs to be.

This came up for me because a beautiful member of our HBR community died on Thursday in a car accident. Missy Baron. It made me question how short life is and how much I treasure my friendships and family. I'll miss her presence at shows and in my life. Tonight we'll go to a wake of sorts for her. I felt bad that I didn't connect with her more deeply and it's making me look at all the relationships I have and how I want to commit more time to nurturing the friendships I have with people I really enjoy and love and care about. Life is short. I don't want to waste another minute.

So, this huge tree almost fell on our house Friday night. It was a crazy wind storm that seemed to come from nowhere and it didn't really last that long. I felt like the universe brought it on so we could deal with something right then.

We did everything we could think of to figure out how to prevent it from crashing down into our house. It was scary,thinking that while we were sleeping it could crash right into our bedroom and deck. But I just prayed. Not something I do enough of really. But I tried to just remind myself to trust the process. Whatever happened was what needed to happen. Whether to teach us something, force us to deal with something, or maybe just learning to trust our gut or the process of waiting for things to happen.

And despite that night's crazy rain and wind, the tree stayed perched precariously over our house, but did not fall. The tree guys came out on a Saturday and hustled like lumberjacks up the tree, cutting it in giant sections that thumped loudly when they fell to the ground. I was grateful for the timing. And, felt good that I had let go of my fear, let the universe take care of things and I just trusted the process.

Faith that things will be as they need to be and that I can handle it with help from the universe when it happens is a powerful thing.

And with MLK day right around the corner, I am grateful to his legacy as well. It brings me hope and faith that a few commited people can change the world.

I saw Reverend Lucius Walker on Thursday night---incredible speaker---and will try to post a little of his talk if it came out ok. We're editing it for a community tv show on the humanitarian aid taken by Pastors for Peace to Cuba to challenge the blockade against Cuba.

Want to go this summer to Cuba with them? Let's go!

Peace,
Katfyssh